What we are really thinking when we read blogs on singleness

I am beginning to have an issue with the blogs I see about singleness. Not because I don’t think they’re good but I find that they scream at you the “It’s ok!Look here’s a list of 25 things that you can still do while single.

Really? That’s great and all but I kind of feel like when we read these post they are really just covering up what most single people are actually thinking.

I think a lot of times we get this idea in our heads that make us afraid to be honest and say the truth about singleness and it is this “it can really be lonely.” When all of your friends are dating, engaged, or married you can feel left out. I mean lets be real if you go hangout with them you are a 3rd or even worse a 5th wheel. That is just awkward unless you are really good friends with them and they understand how to interact as a couple with a single person. But regardless it just puts you in that lonely place where you and other people start saying things like “someday, you just wait there is a great one out there for ya!” “You are just too great a catch and have not found the one who is good enough for you!” and my absolute favorite “Someday your prince will come!” Really? Really? Cause I am thinking you don’t know the future unless God told you something that He has not told me and if so please share but I am not seeing anything on its way and I am tired of me and others living lives with this “someday when I am married” plan in the back of our heads. I am sick of people saying things like “well you really shouldn’t do something like that until you have a spouse and obviously God would not call a single person like you to that if He wasn’t going to bring you a spouse.” Again really?

So here are my thoughts,

I love reading single blogs but they always leave me feeling lonely or not quite good enough. When I read the list of 25 things I see it and automatically think “how fun they would be to do with my husband”. I know I am contradicting everything I have said but hear me out. What I want to know is why no one is being honest about this single thing. I know for me, I really have found a contentment and patience in singleness but that longing of someday doing life with my husband sounds like the most amazing thing I could ever imagine. To love him and be loved by him. To go on adventures with him. To make a list of 25 things to do together. To know that the love and relationship we have is a tiny glimpse and reflection of the Lord and His love for His people. That is beautiful!

I am 21 and will be 22 in 4 days. I have really have learned to be “ok” in singleness and am genuinely happy. I really do want to complete a list of 25 things single people can do before marriage because I am stubborn and want to. But I am also ok with being honest and admitting that singleness can really be the dumps. I want people to be ok with admitting that marriage is something they desire. That although they are content in being single they can still desire companionship and a spouse. Why is that something in our culture that isn’t said more often? God made us with relational desires and one of the biggest and most culturally found ways that is accomplish is in marriage. That’s ok! I find that a lot of people even myself have a hard time admitting that we really do want to be married someday. We need to be ok in that desire and yet still find contentment in the Lord in our singleness cause that is just as beautiful as marriage.

Here we go with the typical “Christian girl end” to this blog.

I love being single and am beyond hopeful that the Lord brings me a husband to do life with and glorify Him with but this is what I have learned being single and would not trade the lessons for any spouse.

  1. I long to be pursued. As a single woman pressing into Christ I have never known the steadfast pursuit the Lord has for me like I do now. No person could ever pursue me or romance me like the Lord does.
  2. When I return that love and spend time with Him I am satisfied.
  3. When I feel alone I never am cause He is with me.
  4. When all my friends are on dates I get Him to myself and my attention goes to Him. You don’t have any distractions then.
  5. When I need Him, He is always there. He doesn’t let other things to get in the way of our relationship like I do. He is my best friend, He is the love of my life.
  6. He knows the desires of my heart and is excited to fulfill them with me and do them with me.
  7. He loves me!
  8. Plus there is no drama in our relationship!

Again, I want to just say that it is ok to want marriage and admit it. That is not a desperate cry. It’s being real and honest. It is ok to read and post blogs about singleness (I am obviously guilty in that). It is totally possible to find contentment in singleness and still have a longing for a spouse. I love that I desire a spouse because it pushes me to Jesus! Finally, it is ok to say “I really don’t want to be single the rest of my life.”

Hope this wasn’t depressing or negative! Just thought it was needed to be said!

Soli Deo Gloria,

Leah Kate

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Jesus, Country Music. And What Can Thaw a Frozen Heart?

If you have been around for at least the past month than you probably said to yourself just now the answer to the question; “what can thaw a frozen heart?” LOVE! LOVE can thaw a Frozen heart! And then added “some people are worth melting for.”

Some may say I love the movie Frozen a little too much. That is mostly an understatement but there is so much reason as to why I love this movie and as always these things come to mind within the 3-4am hours of the morning when I least expect to wakeup. I guess Jesus just knows that is when I listen best. Still have not figured that out. It’s 3am! Why could He have not made me to listen at 1 pm? I want to sleep but I guess if that is when I listen best than its ok. Praise the Lord.

I woke up at 3:54ish with this country song stuck in my head. I dislike country so much yet waking up with this awful twangy-hick music in my head of which I only know a few words to that are playing over and over like a broken record in my mind is one of the biggest blessings ever.

The movie frozen is all about love being the only thing that can thaw a frozen heart. In reality and yes I am making this a correlation that is like us. Our hearts are dark evil wicked deceitful little vessels of death and frozen. The only way we could be cleansed and have it thawed was by the Lord Jesus “loving” us enough to die on the cross. That is the act of true love that thaws our hearts and saves us.

            So why am I writing this out? Because although I have been saved since age 6 my heart is still thawing (process of sanctification) and I realized that more this week. Over the past 2 years the Lord has brought the most amazing people in my life that I get to serve Him with on a daily basis by doing life together. They bless the socks off me! They call me out when I am wrong. They encourage me when I need it. They speak truths that I need to hear without even realizing it. They love me despite my shortcomings.

See I love happy movies like Frozen because life isn’t always “happy”. Things happen and people’s hearts don’t always thaw, people don’t always get better, and things happen. People don’t always choose to accept the One who thaws frozen hearts and that sad. I want so much for people to know Christ and walk in His freedom because it is the only thing in life that really matters.

Waking up at 3:54am with this awful country song and great movie in my head reminded me that Jesus Christ not only died for me and saved me but is daily thawing my heart. He keeps waking me up at weird hours because He loves me enough to convict and reveal things in my life. He reminded me this morning that the reason this awful country song is in my head is because He gave me the best of friends in the world who listen to country music. So waking up with it in my head is great because I love these people more than words could express. They are not just my friends but they have become my family too. I am so thankful that this awful music is in my head. I am so thankful because since this music is in my head on repeat and it is bringing me joy maybe that is part of my heart thawing.

Over the past few days I got to spend some time with my wonderful friends at DBU and it turned into me not sleeping at all, a lot of tears, a lot of unwanted emotions bubbling up and me dealing with things that I shoved aside because well I don’t like things that hurt. I just want to be happy and help other people through their hurts. That is normal but so is hurting and it a process we all have to go through several times in life. God used my sweet friends to get that remind me of that this week. They loved me enough to speak life and truth. They spoke in “love” and that made me listen. They loved and my heart thawed. They loved and God began to refine me more. They loved and God had me face things that I needed to deal with. They didn’t just love and let me hurt. They loved and held my hand until the hurt was gone. They loved and dealt with my embarrassing tears and runny nose. They truly loved and God used them to thaw my heart in areas I didn’t even realize were still frozen.

I am happy to wakeup with annoying country music in my head because it reminds me that the Lord loves me. He gave His life for me. He put people in my life to refine me and gave me friends who love me no matter what condition I am in. I hope I wake up every 3 am with a country song in my head because that means I have friends and a heart that is being refined. Praise the Lord!

 

1 Corinthians 13:1

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times,

and a brother is born for a time of adversity.